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What's the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher?
They can't control their pupils.
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My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.
I always see Himalayan there.
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
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Which day do eggs hate?
Fry-day
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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