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What do you call a sold-out demolition derby?
A smashing success!
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Did you hear about the twins who got an apartment together?
Before they were roommates they were wombmates.
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How do you get your toilet so clean?
I scrub the shit out of it.
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Patient: Doc, I don't believe that peanuts are fattening.
Doctor: Well, have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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