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What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
“Some asshole has my pen.”
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Where do dead skin cells come from?
You make it from scratch.
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Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3, 5, and 7?
Because they literally can’t even.
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My wife said I should stop acting like a flamingo
I had to put my foot down
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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