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The clouds parted and a voice thundered, "Come forth, and you'll receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, so he just got a toaster.
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What did the EMT say when a patient kicked him between the legs?
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A guy tried to sell me a mirror but I knew it was a scam.
I could see right through it.
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Which day do eggs hate?
Fry-day
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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