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Student: Why are we dissecting mushrooms?
Teacher: Because studying fungus is a cultured way to mold young minds.
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What are a communist's favorite units of time?
Hours.
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Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
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An Indian woman offended me, so I cursed her to be reincarnated as a a garment worn by Hindu women.
She'll be sari!
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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