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Kid: Dad, what's the opposite of isolate?
Dad: Yousoearly
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If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Really, really big hands.
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Why won't swords go obsolete?
They are cutting edge technology.
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Having a 12 inch nose is anatomically impossible,
because at that point it becomes a foot.
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
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