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Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.
I just don’t understand why she feels that way.
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Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was on the other side.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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