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People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah?
When's the last time you've ever heard of anyone who rested to death?
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My son said "Look! I'm a 3D printer!"
I told him to shut the toilet door when he poops.
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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Whenever I go out to eat I always tip my server.
I've also learned that servers have horrible balance.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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