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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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Why are LGBT+ people poor comedians?
They can't say anything with a straight face
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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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