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My wife told me, “Don’t stress out if people keep calling you fat...”
..”You are much bigger than that.”
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I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10 am
I'm really not a mourning person.
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What happens to an egg every time you look at it?
It becomes egg sighted
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Patient: When my hand heals, will I be able to play piano? Doctor: Yes, you'll be fine in a few days.
Patient: Great! I've always wanted to play an instrument.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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