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My wife made me a millionaire
Granted I was a billionaire before I met her.
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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,
There are no firearms allowed in this building.
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My son said "Look! I'm a 3D printer!"
I told him to shut the toilet door when he poops.
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I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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