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I find that the only math I’m good at is..
adding insult to injury.
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A midget stumbles out of the bar...
He was a little drunk.
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I had been out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home.
That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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