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My wife just said that in order for our marriage to work, we both need to make sacrifices.
I’m thinking of choosing a goat.
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Simple Math
If I had 50 cents for every failed math test I every took, I would have like $ 6.30 by now.
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What did the archer get when he hit a bull's-eye?
One very angry bull.
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My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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