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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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You know what really sucks?
Vacuum cleaners.
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What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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