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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
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Four years ago today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times.
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I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent.
It goes without saying.
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[Walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough,
but than you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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