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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I've done some terrible things for money..
Like getting up early for work.
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
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Time flies when you're having fun.
When you're not having fun it usually takes the bus.
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Many people have decent hand-eye coordination.
But pirates have good eye-eye coordination.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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