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It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering
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What did the pencil say to the paper?
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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
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Doctor: I'm sorry sir, but you have colon cancer...
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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