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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I’m reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can’t seem to put it down.
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My wife saw an ant picking up a leaf 5 times its body weight, and told me, “Can you imagine being that strong?”
So I picked up the leaf and said, “Yes.”
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I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
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What do you call a person who is happy on a Monday?
Retired!
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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