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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I'd like to start dieting...
...but I just have too much on my plate right now.
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Today me and my wife caught our son burning down a house
We held each other's hand and said "that's arson"
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What fish is the best fighter?
The swordfish.
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I can't believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting around doing nothing.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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