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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What do Spanish clocks say?
Tick-taco
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Who is a dog's favorite comedian?
Growlcho Marx.
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No one: literally no one:
0,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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