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I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "
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I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
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I stole my ex girlfriend’s wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
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My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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