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I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "
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Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Crew: I I Captain.
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"How did you sleep last night?"
Dad: "I closed my eyes and waited."
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The person who invented autocorrect
should burn in hello.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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