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I was arrested for stealing cooking utensils
But it was worth the whisk
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
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What do you call a blind deer?
No-eye-deer
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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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