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I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.
It was too time consuming.
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Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
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Time flies when you're having fun.
When you're not having fun it usually takes the bus.
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Rusty shows up late for work. The boss approaches him as he walks in. "You should've been here at 8:30!" he yells.
Rusty looks surprised. "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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