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I took the shell of my racing snail, thinking it would help him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it, and five to sing about how good the old one was.
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My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...
That was a pain in the ass.
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Do windmills like punk rock?
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