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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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I threw a boomerang a couple years ago and it never came back
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Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.
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When I was at the pool yesterday, I began peeing in the deep end
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I can count on one hand how many times I've visited Chernobyl
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?

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