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I met some aliens from outer space.
They were pretty down to earth.
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Did you know most people are assholes?
Next time you see a group of people, yell "hey asshole" and they will all look.
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Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
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Why can't a lactose intolerant dyslexic man keep a diary?
Because he's allergic.
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How do ponies communicate with each other?
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