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I find that computer programming is a great painkiller.
It involves a lot of codeine.
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What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper!
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I'm very suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...
Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns...
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My twin brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess.... we are raised differently.
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
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