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Four years ago today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times.
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Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today
Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.
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My dad is forbidden from buying alcohol since he started working in the coal mine
They don't sell alcohol to miners
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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