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Every morning I plan on making pancakes,
but I keep waffling.
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Why aren't Koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the koalafications.
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Did you hear about the funeral for boiled water?
It was mist.
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…
He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
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Do windmills like punk rock?
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