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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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How did Jesus get so strong?
Cross fit
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I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
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Why are men statistically more likely to drown than women?
Because women are boyn't.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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