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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
Feefiphobia.
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How do you tie up 2 Martians?
With an astro-knot.
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Why do they call him Lord Vader?
Because no one could keep a straight face calling him Master Vader.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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