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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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What do you mean June is over?
Julying.
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Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
"Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.
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I got so excited I wet my plants!
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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