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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Dad: What do you want for dinner? Kid: I feel like a pizza.
Dad: Well, you don't look like one!
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it!
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
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The clouds parted and a voice thundered, "Come forth, and you'll receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, so he just got a toaster.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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