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I would post a joke from my watch
But that would just be second-hand information
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My can opener broke ...
Now it’s a can’t opener.
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I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep.
Not screaming like the people in the back seat of his car.
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My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!
She lost 120 lbs. I gained 20.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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