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I won an award for being the best scarecrow in my field.
I told them, "Hay, it's in my jeans."
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To all the coworkers who have talked about me behind my back:
You discussed me.
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I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
They did unspeakable things to me.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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