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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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What do Romanians do when they're tired?
They Bucharest
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My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
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I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent.
It goes without saying.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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