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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
“OH MY GOD, A BUS!!!!!”
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What kind of magic do cows believe in?
MOODOO.
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What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
"Where's Popcorn?"
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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