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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
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I just stepped on a cornflake.
I guess that makes me a true cereal killer.
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What do you call a pony with a soar throat?
A little hoarse.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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