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I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
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My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on!
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Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
They did unspeakable things to me.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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