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I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
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What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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