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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers
so that they can let me down one last time.
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Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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Working out is like a drug to me.
I don’t do drugs.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
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