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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers
so that they can let me down one last time.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?
Kumquat may, I'll always love you.
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This morning I saw the milkman drinking a sip of milk before leaving it in front of my door.
How dairy?!?!
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What did the bodybuilder say when he opened his tub of protein powder?
"No whey!"
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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