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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers
so that they can let me down one last time.
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I stole my ex girlfriend’s wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
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When do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it's full.
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Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
Because it was a fun guy.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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