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I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.
We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.
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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
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I left $100 in my suit jacket at the dry cleaners.
Unfortunately when I went to get it back, they were shut down for money laundering.
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After a fish was arrested for swimming without a license, he eventually posted bail.
Relieved, he said, "I'm off the hook!"
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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