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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I saw my nephew after a long time, and said “Wow! You must have grown a foot since I saw you last!”
He said, “No. I still have two.”
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I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
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If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up,
would they be allies. . .or alloys?
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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say
that our baby was in his one womb apartment.
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My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
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