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I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend but I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
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Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday
Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say “get a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.
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Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Kid: No, he did it all by himself!
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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?
Because, it would blow his cover.
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I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
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