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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll.
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I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
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Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
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It’s a shame nothing is made in the USA anymore.
I just bought a TV that said “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is!
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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