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I just lost my mood ring..
I can’t tell you how I feel about it.
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Do you wanna know how I escaped ISIS?
Iran
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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