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I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent.
It goes without saying.
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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How does a butcher introduce his wife?
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Old skiers never die.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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