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I got into bar fight and shoved a guy into a light switch on the wall.
He looked at me and said, “OH, ITS ON NOW!”
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.
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We should have known communism wouldn't work
There were so many red flags.
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Where does the devil do his dishes?
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?
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