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I finally decided to dispose of my broken tripod
I just couldn't stand it anymore.
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I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bread.
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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
Suture self.
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Why was the calendar depressed?
Because it’s days were numbered!
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
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