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I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling,
but it's definitely up there!
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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
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Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Crew: I I Captain.
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Having a 12 inch nose is anatomically impossible,
because at that point it becomes a foot.
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
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