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I can cut down a tree by just looking at it
It’s true I saw it with my own two eyes
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A jumper cable walks into a bar
The bartender says “I'll serve you, but don’t start anything!”
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I had to give up on my idea to create a miniature flamethrower
It was burning a hole in my pocket
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Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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