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I can cut down a tree by just looking at it
It’s true I saw it with my own two eyes
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At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...
But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins!
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Last week at the zoo, I saw a baguette in a cage.
It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.
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My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.
He has serious selfie steam issues.
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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