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I called the casino to ask why the used card decks I ordered were still undelivered.
They assured me they were dealing with it.
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What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
Stationary
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Why do bananas need sunscreen?
Because they peel.
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Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died.
It is, however, a huge weight off my shoulders
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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