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Teacher: What is the opposite of Anti-biotics?
Me: Uncle-biotics!
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Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Her coach was a pumpkin and she was always running away from the ball.
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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
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What do you call 52 pieces of bread?
A deck of carbs!
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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