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How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
Suture self.
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What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
“GRRRAAAIINS!”
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Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The egg. Dinosaurs laid eggs long before chickens.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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